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Feature Article #1

2008: THE YEAR IN AWESOME

If you’re like me, probably you’ve noticed how awesome stuff happens around you all the time due to your rampant self-awesomeness that oozes from your very pores like some kind of kick ass sebum or perhaps a really ultra cool slightly off colored discharge. At any early age I discovered I reeked of awesome and [...]

Fortey | December 30th, 2008 | Continued

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Feature Article #2

A Beginner’s Guide To the Wu-Tang Clan

I’ve been called a lot of things in my day.  Awesome, killer, stud, douchebag, Mr. Snickers (long story), total asshole, major asshole, total major asshole.  The list goes on and on.  But more than anything else, time and time again I find myself being referred to as “cross cultural ambassador extraordinaire.”  Before you call bullshit, [...]

Adam | December 28th, 2008 | Continued

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Feature Article #3

What Does Everyone Else Do On Christmas?

If you’re like me, a kind and generous soul who truly accepts and celebrates our wonderful differences, you wonder what people who aren’t Christian or really want an Amazon gift card for Christmas do on December 25. Being the paragon of journalistic integrity, I googled a few key words in an attempt to reach out [...]

Erica | December 25th, 2008 | Continued

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Feature Article #4

Great Last Minute Gifts For People You Hate

Once again it’s upon us, the most stressful time of the year, Christmas.  It’s bad enough that you have to put up with making travel plans, remembering to send Christmas cards and deciding which Christmas song will finally thrust you to the brink of a self inflicted gunshot wound if you hear it one more [...]

Adam | December 24th, 2008 | Continued

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Feature Article #5

The True-Life History of Christmas

Ever since my cousin Gerard shared his musings on International Santas I’ve felt I needed to contribute my own educational discourse on the holidays we’re now enjoying the way a hobo enjoys a good bottle of Lysol, or a soft-tongued rat nibbling away at errant cheese trapped in his mighty hobo net of pubes, what [...]

Fortey | December 20th, 2008 | Continued

About this Site

ScenicAnemia is the brainchild of Nasa scientists and several adult film stars who joined forces to create the internet comedy phenoms that are Adam, Ian, Glenn and Grady.  Their assorted works can be found on websites like Cracked.com and several other websites Ian forgets the name of.
For your continued enjoyment, a picture of an otter [...]

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Other Recent Articles

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Gifts that Keep on Giving

Gift giving has become stale and lame over the years, with everyone giving nothing but tube socks and tube steaks to friends and loved ones 68% of the time according to Crap I Just Made Up magazine, the internet’s most reliable source for stuff that I make up on a whim. If you want this [...]

19Dec2008 | Fortey | 1 comment | Continued
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Cowboys Ink Reality Deal With E!

In an unprecedented move that shocked the sports world, Dallas Cowboys publicist Jerry Jones announced Monday a three-week, 12-hour miniseries aptly titled “Texas Stadium: The REAL Dallas”. The show, which will chronicle the ever-increasing tension in the Cowboys’ locker room, began filming last week and will use clips from E!’s sassy sister network ESPN.
“It is [...]

15Dec2008 | Grady | 0 comments | Continued
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GUEST ARTICLE: Ian Fortey’s Retarded Cousin Gerard Elucidates the Holiday Sprit

Oh man, it’s Christmastime, unless you’re a Jew or a Muslim or a Buddhist or a Jain or a Mormon or a Jehovah’s Witness or a Confucian or a savage or a Dutchman or a lady or Pakistani. It’s a time for all people to love and share and share and love and get presents [...]

9Dec2008 | Fortey | 5 comments | Continued
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Midgetations

I dunno if you know this, but there’s a weird movement in the world to put midgets everywhere and then not call them midgets. In a previous article in which I mercilessly mock the Learning Channel, I make a point of discussing my contempt for the show Little People, Big World. This isn’t [...]

1Dec2008 | Fortey | 8 comments | Continued
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Jesse’s Girl part II

Dear Jesse’s Girl,

Hi, it’s me again. I hope your head is ok, that was a tremendous spill you took after you finished that drink I made for you. If you noticed your underwear missing when you regained consciousness, I have no idea what might have caused that but the same thing happened to me. I [...]

21Nov2008 | Fortey | 1 comment | Continued