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The Day I Met Peter Weller

Recently, I posted an article in which I name dropped and jpeg dropped Peter Weller. Peter Weller, of course, is Robocop. That is to say you think he is an actor who portrayed Robocop while I assume he underwent the full cyborg surgery for the role and is, in fact, Robocop at this very moment. [...]

2Oct2008 | Fortey | 3 comments | Continued
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Online Interview with Adam! As If You Care!

How busy have I been lately?  Busy enough that this interview actually happened just under two weeks ago and I’m just now getting around to posting something about it here.  And in case you’re wondering, that picture there is just for dramatic effect.  I wasn’t interviewed by Sienna Miller and I’m not nearly as handsome [...]

29Sep2008 | Adam | 1 comment | Continued
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Fraudulent Friend Finder - The Revenge!

For my original fraudulent friend finder article, I decided to go out of my way to be a complete douche to a total stranger, even if said stranger was an eerie shut-in degenerate who liked to be wrapped in saran wrap by strange women. You don’t need me to explain the details again, go read [...]

26Sep2008 | Fortey | 2 comments | Continued
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Brine Shrimp Vagina

It’s 2:45 in the morning and I have to work at 10:00.  To do this I must leave the house by 8:30 to catch a bus all the way across town.  To do this I figure I need to be up in 5 hours.  But I am already up, so I am ahead of the [...]

11Sep2008 | Fortey | 3 comments | Continued
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Blog Post (feat. Timbaland, John Mayer, Cassie and Lil’ Wayne)

While things are, for the most part, back on track around here, there is no question that the unfortunate deletion of the entire damn site by me has had a bit of an impact on traffic around here.  How much of an impact?  I don’t know, ask someone who checks on that kind of thing, [...]

5Sep2008 | Adam | 2 comments | Continued
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Websites About Which I Am Chagrined

Why doesn’t the internet seek to please me at all times? I don’t know. The result of the internet’s slothful inability to bend to my unspoken whims is a pantload of websites that make tiny muscles under the flesh of my face spasm in frustration and anger. There are so many preposterous [...]

3Sep2008 | Fortey | 5 comments | Continued
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The RimJob Obsession

I should be writing more content for this website, and reposting my old material. That one article about animals named by morons was hilarious. Hilarious! It was actually nominated for several web awards, I assume. And I heard that the girl Glenn lost his virginity to only engaged in coitus with [...]

1Sep2008 | Fortey | 4 comments | Continued
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Fortey’s Guide to Unwholesome Deviancy - Online Edition!

Recently, it has come to my attention that the internet is all abustle with lasciviousness. “Gasp!” you may gasp, and clutch at your tender bosom. “What is this lasciviousness you speak of, Ian? Is it also licentious and lustful?” to which I might reply after a hearty twirl of my pubic [...]

21Aug2008 | Fortey | 3 comments | Continued
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Glory Days: Revisiting Scenic Anemia Radio

With all of the site recovery fun and games, writing something new hasn’t been much of a possibility. On the bright side, site reader Alphane Moon pointed us in the direction of a site where we were able to recover a few more posts. As awesome as that is, you’ve probably already [...]

11Aug2008 | Adam | 1 comment | Continued
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How To Disappear Completely

You would think that deleting the entire contents of a website that has been up and running for over 8 months would be difficult. You’d be wrong. It’s really just as simple as having the idiot who takes care of the minor upgrade and technical issues (me) failing to back up a database [...]

10Aug2008 | Adam | 5 comments | Continued