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The Day I Met Peter Weller

Recently, I posted an article in which I name dropped and jpeg dropped Peter Weller. Peter Weller, of course, is Robocop. That is to say you think he is an actor who portrayed Robocop while I assume he underwent the full cyborg surgery for the role and is, in fact, Robocop at this very moment. [...]

2Oct2008 | Fortey | 3 comments | Continued
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You Too Can Write for the Internets…Maybe

Recently, the crack team of literati here at Scenic Anemia sat down and decided we needed to start blogging. Not just to fill space on the website and make you, our 7 readers, feel like we were updating on a semi-regular basis, but because we wanted to give something back to the internet community that [...]

27Sep2008 | Fortey | 0 comments | Continued
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Entry Level Loser 2: StarMail Warehouse

This likely wasn’t my second job ever, I just can’t remember where it fit in. I think I was in high school when I had it. Now, for those who read of my adventures at Best Value Restaurant and recall I said it was my first job, and I was in college, you’ll have to [...]

26Sep2008 | Fortey | 0 comments | Continued
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Brine Shrimp Vagina

It’s 2:45 in the morning and I have to work at 10:00.  To do this I must leave the house by 8:30 to catch a bus all the way across town.  To do this I figure I need to be up in 5 hours.  But I am already up, so I am ahead of the [...]

11Sep2008 | Fortey | 3 comments | Continued
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Blog Post (feat. Timbaland, John Mayer, Cassie and Lil’ Wayne)

While things are, for the most part, back on track around here, there is no question that the unfortunate deletion of the entire damn site by me has had a bit of an impact on traffic around here.  How much of an impact?  I don’t know, ask someone who checks on that kind of thing, [...]

5Sep2008 | Adam | 2 comments | Continued
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Websites About Which I Am Chagrined

Why doesn’t the internet seek to please me at all times? I don’t know. The result of the internet’s slothful inability to bend to my unspoken whims is a pantload of websites that make tiny muscles under the flesh of my face spasm in frustration and anger. There are so many preposterous [...]

3Sep2008 | Fortey | 5 comments | Continued
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A Fear of Hobos

So I have this fear of hobos. Some years ago I took it upon myself to head downtown at a totally unreasonable hour in the morning in the hopes of being first in line to get tickets to a concert that was in a town that’s about 160 miles away. It didn’t occur to me [...]

3Sep2008 | Fortey | 0 comments | Continued
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In Memoriam: My Grampa

In honour of Canada day, I am posting a little something about my late grand-father, a veteran of Wold War II with the Canadian forces. Update: Originally posted June 1st, 2008, prior to the site apocalypse.
My earliest memories of my grampa are of visiting the farm. I’d marvel from the backseat of my parent’s car [...]

3Sep2008 | Glenn | 0 comments | Continued
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The RimJob Obsession

I should be writing more content for this website, and reposting my old material. That one article about animals named by morons was hilarious. Hilarious! It was actually nominated for several web awards, I assume. And I heard that the girl Glenn lost his virginity to only engaged in coitus with [...]

1Sep2008 | Fortey | 4 comments | Continued
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Fortey’s Guide to Unwholesome Deviancy - Online Edition!

Recently, it has come to my attention that the internet is all abustle with lasciviousness. “Gasp!” you may gasp, and clutch at your tender bosom. “What is this lasciviousness you speak of, Ian? Is it also licentious and lustful?” to which I might reply after a hearty twirl of my pubic [...]

21Aug2008 | Fortey | 3 comments | Continued
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